What You’ll Hear in This Episode:
I’d like to talk about a virtue that some might call old-fashioned.
It’s modesty –
Modesty seems to have negative connotations – we think of words like prude, goody goody, moralist, when we’re speaking about exterior modesty– not exactly an inviting offer to consider modesty.
Yet the true definition of modesty is valuing our own privacy and respecting the privacy of others.
In this episode I’d like to speak about 3 types of modesty:
Three Areas to Practice Modesty
In the home
I’m going to be talking about how we practice modesty with the internet and social media in an upcoming episode so stay tuned for that.
Entertainment/Movies – Be careful and discriminating in your choice of movies and entertainment. Just because you can watch an R rated movie, doesn’t mean you should. Protect your eyes – images are hard to forget.
Books/magazines – Make sure they are good books and not trashy romance novels. Be careful that any magazines you subscribe to do not offend the men/boys in your home nor force them to look away or look at and indulge.
In our speech
Don’t speaking of others’ private actions.
We should be careful not to be crass – to speak of body parts with a lack of respect.
When we talk about the intimacy of the marital act in any way, it is with respect and a sense of the divine gift – and our discussion should be private – one on one with our children.
Since our culture has made this unbelievable shift in all things related to the intimacy of our bodies and our love, it’s even more of a challenge now to make sure our children – and ourselves – don’t get sucked into the debasing of and our sexuality and this God given gift of our bodies – made in His image and likeness.
We have made love making as common as going through the drive-thru.
Our children need to hear from US first about intimacy and how we view it – they may hear the foul and disgusting comments that other children throw out, but our children will always go back to what WE think of intimacy – a gift from God and a gift to marriage that can bring life into the world.
It isn’t some extracurricular activity
Refraining from foul language – keep the tone of the home high with refinement and class
In our dress
We need to put thought into what we wear and the message it sends.
Men are accosted constantly in our society by images of women with slight and subtle seduction as well as full out near nudity in marketing and advertising.
It is a gross error of judgment and justice to dress in such a way that a man must deal with his natural urging.
Having had 5 boys, our job was to teach them how to look away and not engage – even for a few seconds.
But it always makes me so angry when women and advertisers feel the freedom to tease my sons and my husband – take a peak or look at what I have, but too bad so sad you can’t have this.
It seriously makes me angry – God created men’s bodies to react to women’s bodies – thank goodness or we wouldn’t have children. But some women USE their body to get men’s attention just to get it. Just to get a look – noticed. And then they walk away while the man is filled with desire and doesn’t know what to do with it or can’t do anything with it.
If You Don’t Want to Be Objectified, Then Dress Accordingly
And then women complain that they don’t want to be objectified. – Seriously? Then stop objectifying yourself.
We need to dress in a way that honors our body rather than uses it to get attention.
Your soul is what makes you you. When we connect with each other, we connect through the eyes. There we find the deepest part of another. There we find our soul – who we are, what makes us human.
When you see a dead person’s body in a casket, you almost don’t recognize them – their body is the same, but their soul is gone.
We want to connect with people through our soul – not body.
The Prom Disaster
One of my son’s came home from his senior prom and I asked him how it went.
He said it was terrible and he proceeded to describe her dress.
“Cut down to here, and up to here. I spent the whole night trying not to look at her. I wanted to have fun with her not have sex with her.”
I was shocked.
He was angry.
She was probably oblivious or wondering why my son didn’t come onto her.
And I was so proud of him.
Women! We Set the Tone for Modesty
Moms – you need to be the standard bearer of appropriate dress. You’re not in a position to be looking for attention – dress with class, style, and grace.
Teach your daughters to do the same. Start when they are very young – clothing manufacturers have our daughters looking like miniature adults with an agenda at 5 yrs old. It’s disgusting – It completely takes away their innocence and teaches them to objectify their body.
Find the clothing manufacturers who design with class and modesty while still being trendy.
You will probably spend a little more, but it will be worth the cost of helping your daughter stay modest but also not stand out in out-of-date fashions.
Will they be the only ones who dress modestly?
Maybe
But that’s ok.
We MUST teach our children to be bold in good morals – to not be afraid of doing the right thing for fear of being labeled not cool.
And the way they dress is just one way to nurture good morals.
And continue to teach your sons to look away.
Acknowledge the problems they face but encourage them to be strong.
Help them to learn to appreciate and love the virtues and gifts of a woman- not lust after her body.
Help them to be respectful of the creation that God made – a miraculous, wonderful human – not something to be objectified.
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