The Amazing Power of Mindset

I am amazed at the power of mindset and the fascinating control it has over our behavior. Women accomplish all kinds of remarkable things because they want to or because they believe they can – childbirth is probably the most obvious. But if we can harness that positive mindset to be used in the ordinary, daily life we would find our lives so much happier and more easily managed.

The Power of Mindset

I recently had an excellent lesson in the power of positive mindset. My daughter, Kathleen, had planned to get up early on Thanksgiving day to run a 1/2 marathon. It had been 7 years and 3 babies since she ran a 1/2 marathon. She had her 3^rd baby in February and started training in June (getting up early before her husband left for work). Some days she didn’t have much sleep as she was still nursing a baby that didn’t sleep through the night. So, five months later, after all those days of sacrifice (running is hard enough, but getting up early to run….not for the faint of heart!) the day had come to run the big race.

She carbed up the night before and we all wished her well as we knew it would be dark, dreary and 35 degrees outside.

She got 45 minutes of sleep that night and realized there was no way she could run 13.1 miles on 45 minutes of sleep. As disappointed as she was, she decided she’d just run it the next day. The day after Thanksgiving. The day after a brunch of baked goodies and dinner with turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy, and French silk pie. Who would or could run after a day of celebrating with their family? Truth be told, I didn’t think she’d do it.

Do We Give up When It Gets Difficult?

But she did. She got up before the sun, and out the door she went running her race. There was no crowd to cheer, no medal up for grabs, just Kathleen and her determination to do what she decided to do in June-run another ½ marathon.

I met her on her route. She was running all alone in the cold misty rain. There she was. A mother of three. A woman who didn’t have a fancy running outfit – just her sweatshirt from college which was probably getting heavier as the rain kept up. I caught up with her just as she had ascended a 90 degree hill (ok, probably not 90 degrees, but a hill I don’t even like to drive, much less run up). She was crying because it was painful and because it was hard. She was exhausted because it was mile 10. But there she was. Running. Being faithful to herself and her decision.

And what an accomplishment!

I pulled the car over and sobbed. I was so proud of her. All I could see was that sweet little girl (my first born) on fire with determination. A strong woman with a holy pride. When she was a little girl, her greatest athletic feat was to accidentally score her only goal in soccer for the other team. And here she was – a determined athlete finishing what she set out to do.

And it reminded me about mindset – a mental attitude, a fixed state of mind. She didn’t need a fancy outfit or a medal to put around her neck. She had the power of accomplishing a goal she had set for herself.

Mindset is the magic behind how we approach our day
and our decisions.

When we make a decision to do something or the way we do something, and put our mind to it, we can accomplish more than we ever imagined. When we decide we can’t do something, we certainly won’t.

I have watched women live through…..

Marriages that were more difficult than could be spoken about
The death of a child
Severe postpartum
Trying to balance a job with raising children
Living with and loving children with severe developmental issues
Living with spouses or children with addictions
Battling their own addictions
Struggling to make ends meet
Cleaning up crumb after crumb after crumb……
Never having an end to housework. Next week, we’ll do it all over again.

Why do some women thrive while others struggle? I know that there are many factors that go in to accomplishing our goals. I am not minimizing any mental issues that may be involved. But I do think that sometimes (I include myself in this) we don’t harness the power of mindset to get through difficult days.

How I Learned the Power of Mindset in a Grocery Store

When I was a young mother, I learned about mindset accidentally. Grocery shopping with seven children was never fun. But one day, as I was walking into the store, I told myself that this time was going to be different. Instead of responding to the children impatiently and being reactive – constantly correcting them about their behavior, I was going to talk with them and make shopping a game – where they could help me find the item in a certain aisle. I put on a smile, a little patience, and off we went to a totally different shopping trip – never to be a crab fest, tantrum laden trip again!

I had changed my mindset from angry reactive to cheerfully proactive and it worked!

This Isn’t How I Thought it Would Be

Maybe motherhood is not what you expected. Maybe it is lonelier or harder than you thought it would be. But with the gift of motherhood comes the grace to live it well. We must begin with our mindset. Do we have positive goals for ourselves and our family? Do we wake up ready to have a good day, or have we given in and given up? Can we begin again tomorrow with a new attitude? Can we ask God for His help?

Where Can You Make the Power of Mindset Work Better?

Housework – Rather than something you hate and a burdensome chore, look at it as a joyful service to others where you can take holy pride in creating a home that nurtures rather than a mess that causes stress.

Discipline – Instead of getting angry with children who act like children, see your role as a teacher (which God intended you to be) and teach your children the proper ways to behave. Be proactive in their environment so you can minimize the issues you tend to see pop up. And pray for patience.

Motherhood – Look for ways to bring joy into your motherhood. Ask yourself, “Am I mothering or managing?” See this post for ideas. Block your day and make plans with your children to do things – not just get through the day. Every day doesn’t have to be a party, but if we plan activities where we can joyfully interact with the kids, it is so much better than reactive correction all day long.

Marriage – Do you assume the worst of your husband and disrespect him, or do you give him the benefit of the doubt knowing that he’s trying? Do you seek to have a servant’s heart or do you wait for him to fulfill your every need? Love him with a happy heart. Pray for him every day asking God to help you love him more tenderly and patiently.

Spend some quiet time reflecting on your mindset. Bring God (who loves you and wants you to be happy) into your mindset. Decide to be strong, capable, cheerful, and grateful for your blessings. It may not be easy and some days you’ll be crying as you run up those steep hills. But have in sight your end – finish the race strong with joy, perseverance, and a positive mindset to attain the goals you have for you and your family life.

Have a great week!

Janet