When I was younger, there was something about the excitement of a new year and having that “start line” to begin new habits – also known as New Year’s resolutions.
But as I’ve grown older, and the New Year’s Resolutions never really became new habits, I kind of dread the idea of thinking about a new year, new resolution.
I’m a perfectionist so when I make a resolution and don’t fulfill it perfectly, every day, I give up. (Not being a perfectionist should probably be my resolution!) You can guess how many years I’ve actually been successful with New Year’s resolutions- zero.
Do You Also Have Trouble with Resolutions?
- Do you give up because it’s too overwhelming?
- “Cheat” the 2nd day, then give up?
- Realize that the resolution is too big, not attainable with your schedule, lacks clarity or ultimately lacks relevance in your life?
Rules for Success
1. The first rule is there are no rules that guarantee success!
I think whoever comes up with that magic potion for success in achieving our goals will make a gajillion dollars! The truth is, what works for someone else, may not work for you. Some people like to clean one day a week, some like to do a little every day. Don’t feel pressured into doing what everyone else is doing if that little voice deep down is saying, “That won’t work for me.”
2. Know your why.
EVERY person is different, so you really have to spend some time thinking about what is really important to you and your family. What will bring joy into your life, your motherhood, and your home? Our actions are driven by our feelings, and our feelings are caused by our thoughts. So, if we know why we’re doing what we’re doing, and we want to do it (or choose not to do something ie eat sugar), we are more likely to follow through on the action!
3. Choose what works for you.
If setting one yearly goal and working on that all year is enough for you, then do what you can. You may (or may not) find that after you have worked on the first goal, you’re ready to bring in another. Don’t overwhelm yourself. One at a time works best.
4. Write it down!
If you don’t write it down, the goal stays as an overwhelmed idea in your head. Writing down our goals helps us to clarify, commit, and make a reality.
A New Approach
Here’s a new way to approach goals and change – there are no rules that say you can only begin change on January 1st! In fact, for perfectionists (and I know there are a lot of us out there), beginning on a different day takes away the feeling of failure if we’re not completely consistent.
First, Set Yearly Goals
Yearly goals are big and broad. What changes or objectives would you like to see in one year?
- Get out of debt – or significantly reduce the debt
- More date nights with my spouse
- A clean and orderly home
- Be more proactive in teaching your children
- Read three novels
- Learn to sew or some other hobby
- Have a more close- knit family.
- Deepen your spiritual life.
Set 2 -3 big yearly goals or keep it at 1 if more would overwhelm you.
Set Monthly Goals
Take that yearly goal(s) and break it down into a couple of monthly goals by identifying what you can do this month to contribute to the yearly goal.
If the yearly goal is to read three novels, choose your first novel to read.
Decide how much more each month you can pay down a credit card.
Get a sewing machine, and sign up for a class, or watch some YouTube videos on how to sew.
Making Weekly Goals
From our monthly goals, we can break the goal down even further and create weekly goals.
If reading to your children more often is a yearly goal, make your monthly goal to choose a new book, and the weekly goal to commit to which days you’ll read to them. Decide if your weekly goal is every night or which nights will be best. Commit.
Daily Goals
Daily goals are where everything takes shape. If your yearly goal is to read three novels, or read to your children on a consistent basis, then decide how long each day you will read to complete that big goal.
If your monthly goal was to read “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe”, then your daily goal would be to read 20 minutes to the children (depending on the age of the children). It may take you two months to finish, but that’s ok. You will finish because you took a big goal and broke it down into manageable pieces!
Taking large goals and breaking them up into bite-size pieces is how goals are achieved.
It’s one thing to say, “I want to lose 25lbs this year”, but much more attainable to say, “I will write down daily what I eat and keep my food points (Weight Watchers) within the healthy range.” That’s how I’ll achieve the 25lb weight loss and accomplish the big goal.
Some Common Areas to Consider Goal Setting
Personal
- Spiritual: Deepen your relationship with God by increased prayer time and study of the Gospels
- Mind: Self-directed learning, reading, finding a creative outlet
- Body: Physical activity, healthy eating
Family
- Nurturing/Nourishing family culture
- Tech Discipline
- Strategizing better responses to our children and husbands
- Choosing joy in motherhood instead of frustration and impatience
Home
- Meal Prep
- Home-keeping
Redefining Resolutions
So, I hope whenever you’re reading this (whether it is the New Year or not) you’ll take the opportunity to pray and reflect on areas where you’d like to stretch or challenge yourself – or just make your life more joyful.
Make big goals, then break them down to monthly goals, then weekly goals, and finally daily goals that are bite-sized and achievable.
Remember that perfection is a myth, and only serves to stop us from succeeding when we quit because it isn’t perfect. Every day you achieve your small goal is one day closer to realizing the big goals for your life.
Here’s to a new year with new, attainable goals to help us live with joy, peace, and lots of love in our families!
Have a great week!
Janet
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