Self-Care for Moms is Essential

“Self-care for moms is overrated,” said no mom ever!  And even though we all agree that as moms we are tired, stressed out, lonely sometimes, and in need of self-care, we don’t take the time to do it.  We act like it isn’t important. Why?

Excuses for Why We Don’t Practice Self-Care

• We’re too busy. 
• The kids “need” us too much. 
• Our husbands couldn’t handle all the kids by himself. 
• “It’s just the life of a mom”.  
• It feels selfish taking the time for myself.

All these are excuses.  It doesn’t matter why we offer up the excuse (we think we should just power through motherhood, we might have a little martyr syndrome going on etc…) the fact is that, as moms, we MUST take care of ourselves. 

Take Care of Yourself First, Then Your Children

Everyone has probably heard the flight attendant tell passengers that if you have a child traveling with you and the plane has an oxygen problem, you give yourself the oxygen, then give it to your child. 

I don’t know about you, but that always makes me want to say, “Yeah, right, that’s not happening”. 

Our instinct as mothers is to take care of our children first.

But if we are out of oxygen (or patience, sleep, good nutrition, creative stimulation, adult brain stimuli etc..) we won’t be ABLE to take care of our children – not like we should and not like we really want to.

You Can’t Give What Your Don’t Have

As a mom of 32 years, trust me when I tell you, you absolutely must take care of yourself and have time away, alone, doing what YOU need every week.  Whether you work outside the home or not, there must be a place in your schedule that is focused on tending to your needs.

(And don’t use the excuse you have too many children.  I had seven.  In fact, I would argue that the more children you have, the more you need time away.)

Take Time Away Each Week

It doesn’t have to be the entire day away, (although occasionally maybe you may need an extended period away), but it should be a couple of hours at least.

I’m not talking bar hopping on a Friday night! 

My time away was a weekly ceramics class, exercise class, massage, manicure, or bible study/prayer group.  Sometimes I went to a movie or walked outside alone at my pace.  Often, I went to the library Michael’s, JoAnn’s, or Hobby Lobby and just wandered around.

Maybe you could take a weekly cooking class with friends or alone, or sewing/art/knitting class.  Or go to Panera and have lunch or dinner alone – no crumbs flying or spilled milk – just enjoy a peaceful meal and a magazine.

It could also be as simple as a nightly hot bath after dinner while dad and the kids clean up. (My 32 yr. personal favorite)

As moms, we nurture, but we forget we need to be nurtured as well.

Ask Your Husband for Help

While some may disagree with this, the VERY best thing I learned to do as a new mom, was after a month of nursing, I introduced a bottle to our baby so that Dad had the privilege of feeding his child.  So, with all my children, my husband gave the after-dinner bottle to our children.  They still benefited from nursing, but they had eye-to-eye skin-to-skin contact with their dad as he nourished them.

It also gave me the freedom to go out once a week in the evening.  PLEASE don’t let the world tell you that you and only you can take care of your baby. We may have to gently help him and guide him but watch how much closer he bonds with his children when he’s ‘allowed’ to take responsibility.

You Can’t and Don’t Have to Do it All

So many women are overburdened, stressed out, and anxious because they feel the weight of doing everything related to their child.

We live in a culture where we tell men, “You’re too stupid to figure it out”, and we tell women, “You have to do it all.”  He’s not an idiot, and you don’t have to do it all.  Help him develop his nurturing side and give up the superwoman cape for a few hours. (A little tough-love mom talk!)

Aside from time away each week, make sure to tend to a daily ritual of taking care of yourself.

Daily Self Care

• Sleep – Lack of sleep can cause depression in some.  It is critical to get enough sleep to function properly.  If the baby still wakes up at night, sleep during naps, when the baby sleeps.

• Nutrition –Take a moment to look at what you eat during the day.  If you’re charging up with lots of caffeine, know that with every high of a caffeine jolt comes a crash of emotions and energy when the caffeine wears off.  It is a vicious cycle that is, in the end, exhausting.  Sugar also has the same effect.

• Exercise –Invest in a good stroller and get walking (or jogging!).  You don’t need a whole lot of time – 30 minutes is great.  But moving is essential to feeling the strength we need – which improves our mood.  There are also online app communities (Jazzercize, Zumba, Barre 3) which are great for working out at home if you can’t get away. 

Take self-care seriously.  Don’t make excuses.  Find something you love or need and look forward to nourishing your mind/body/spirit.  Your whole family will be grateful you did!

Drop a note in the comments section about self-care habits you practice!

Have a great week!

Janet

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