Finding Joy in Motherhood

Dear Beautiful, Young Mamas,

I have a confession to make. When I see you in the grocery store or out and about with your small children, I’m that ‘mature’ (does that really sound better than old??) woman you catch sometimes staring at you. It’s not a creepy stare. It’s a “Oh, how I long for that again” stare. I have to consciously stop myself from whispering to you, “You’re so lucky to have this time with your babies.” I know at the time you probably don’t feel lucky – little Johnny is racing down the aisle, your daughter is in the cart, pouting, because, well who knows why – little girls pout about almost everything, and the baby is screaming because it took you too long to get out of the house and now he’s hungry again – finding joy in motherhood? Maybe not so much.

Most women my age remember with fondness those days of our babies. Very often a female Alzheimer’s patient will remember, with vivid clarity, the days when she was raising her small children, while forgetting events later in life. And here you are, at the grocery store, just trying to get what you’ll make for dinner tonight without a complete melt down.

The Joy of Motherhood

Truth be told…these are the very best days of a woman’s life. The days when a little human is completely dependent on you for everything, and thinks the sun rises and sets in your beautiful eyes. Before you know it (now I really do sound old) these days will be gone, and like the rest of us, you’ll long – even mourn a little – for them.

So, in case you’ve lost sight (in the midst of meltdowns) of what your motherhood is all about, let me help you remember who you are in God’s eyes and in your children’s eyes. When your children are small you have the most incredible God-given power. You have the power to help form little persons.

You teach them –

how to love
to be friends with their siblings
how to forgive and ask for forgiveness
to be kind to others and see the needs of others
their letters, numbers and silly songs – and they don’t care how you sing!

You show them the beauty of the world –

the small caterpillars that turn into beautiful butterflies
the feeling of rain on their face
the slickness of ice
and joy of splashing around in a kiddie pool

You help them explore all that their little bodies can do –

run fast, stop on a dime, do somersaults and hold their breath under water
color a picture for the first time
build a tower as tall as they are, then topple it over with glee

You…

read them fantastic stories of knights, princesses, hungry caterpillars, cats with hats, and stuffed bears and their friends – over and over again.
plant the seed and nurture their self-confidence so they can grow to be strong, confident happy adults.
begin the awesome honor of teaching them about their Creator and Savior – nurturing their journey to heaven.
connect with them as NO OTHER person does (except maybe Dad) eye-to-eye, skin-to-skin.
let them know they are accepted and loved unconditionally. They will not find that anywhere else.
You protect them from the ugliness of the world.
And what do they do?

They depend on you to

feed them, teach them how to sleep, take care of their bad breath and their runny noses
calm their fears and boost their confidence
show them how to share and take care of their things and the things of others
model joy and how to be happy
teach them to respect all the ways God has blessed them

They depend on you for everything.

Embrace Your Motherhood

You are the greatest teacher they will ever have (and I say that as a teacher who was told I was the greatest teacher they ever had – I was not. That role belongs to their parents.)

But…you say, “I’m not patient. I don’t have the discipline or I don’t know if what I’m doing is correct. I don’t have what it takes. I’m just trying to get through the day, and get a shower before my husband comes home!”

Start from Where You Are

The good news is, where you are is ok. When I was first married and having children, I was not patient, not generous, I lost my temper, and I had mounds of laundry piled up in our bedroom. The joke was guests were not allowed to open any doors. I cleaned the areas of sight, but have you ever heard of Pandora’s box? Those were my closets and our bedroom. (We also want to teach the children to contribute to the care of the home. You can find more about raising self-sufficient children HERE.)

Motherhood is not an Overnight Journey

Your life is a journey. You are not going to be who you are now when you’re 35, 45, or 57. Motherhood is a journey that ends in being a better woman. Did the children suffer for my faults? I don’t think so. They saw me trying. They knew I loved them with the very center of my being. And as adults now, their biggest complaint was that the youngest got to ride the horse at the grocery store when they didn’t.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

(and just plain mistakes)
1Peter 4:8

I asked God, as many days as I could remember, to help me have a cleaner home, help me to be more patient and involved with the children, help me to take a breath and not lose my temper, help me to give up my will for the good of the others. And I worked at developing all those virtues – slowly, day by day.

The Days May be Slow, But the Years Fly By

Don’t let these precious years go by without being their teacher of all things of the world. You know them so well. You have the power to mold their little personality towards beauty and truth in the world. Help them to overcome their faults, while showing them the gifts and talents they have been given. Teach them to use those gifts and talents to enrich the little part of the world in which they live.

Don’t Compare!

So often, women compare their beginning to another person’s middle or end. I’ve said it before in other posts, but I think it is so important that it should be said many times. The comparison game is a no-win game. We’ll always see our faults readily and talents of others over ours. As my dad would say, “Put your head down and do your work well.”

So, embrace your role mamas! Be the best YOU, you can be. The more you sacrifice for anything, the more you will get out of it. God gave these children to you. He has confidence in you. You are who they need – faults and all. And find the priceless joy in motherhood.

I’d love to hear where you are in your motherhood journey, or any advice you might like to share to keep moms grounded in the joy of motherhood – feel free to comment below.

Have a great day!

Janet