Embracing the Gift of Motherhood

If your home was burning down what would you go back into the flames to get? In your life, what is it that you would fight to the death for?  What do you sacrifice your time, your money and YOUR WILL for? What is it that brings you an unspeakable joy, a sense of purpose – a “this is what I was made for”?  I have learned the answer to this question in many different ways in my life: faith, marriage, and motherhood.

The Home school Field Trip – Grocery Shopping!

Since we home schooled, I often did my grocery shopping during the day when the store was empty – ’cause who wants to shop with all your children in a crowded store, anyway? I brought all 6 children with me (our 7^th was yet to come) because my idea was “divide and conquer” with the grocery list.  The older kids went off to selected sections of the store, while I took the younger ones to other sections to complete our shopping in the least amount of time.  At checkout, they all had their assigned duties to bag the groceries, so that by the time I paid, we were off and ready to go.

“Are all those kids yours?“

Answering the Constant Question….

On this particular day, I had a new cashier.  I watched her as she was very distracted scanning my groceries.  She kept looking over at the children (ages 1-10 yrs) while shaking her head.  “Are all those kids yours?”  (As an aside….who would take OTHER people’s children to the grocery store with them???)  “Yes”, I said, grateful that my children were unusually well-behaved that day.   She continued, “I could never have that many kids.  One is more than enough.  You think you can give each of them enough attention?  One is plenty.”  I wasn’t particularly surprised at her comments, because I got them ALL. THE. TIME.  I made my usual nervous response, “Oh, they’re great…they’re great friends…the joy of my life…I love kids…blah, blah, blah”.  And off we went.

Children are Listening

When we got out to the car, Joseph, my 5 yr old, asked, “Mom, which of us would you give back?”  I was shocked at the question.  “If you only had one, who would you give back?”  He had overheard the conversation and his tender heart sounded a little nervous that he might be the one I’d give back.  I felt a huge swell of love envelope me.  I stopped the car and asked the children if they ever felt like there were too many of them, or if they didn’t get enough of my attention.  My older ones commented they thought she didn’t know what she was talking about – they told me they get plenty of my attention and the one who was frequently in trouble, said he got a little too much of my attention! We had a long conversation about children, families, and generous hearts. 

Plenty of Love to Go Around

I explained to them how a mother’s heart grows with each child – how each of them has my complete heart.  I likened it to Jesus’ heart.  That He loves all of us equally and completely.  All of them confirmed they felt totally loved – no one was missing my attention, and I resolved that in the future  (and there were many other instances of comments by strangers)  I would look the person dead in the eye and without hesitation be clear about how blessed I was and that saying “yes” to God’s plan was the smartest decision I ever made!

I Knew That Day What Held
My Heart

Distractions of the Heart

I knew that day what held my heart – not that I didn’t ‘know’ before, but at the time with 6 children under the age of 10, I frequently lost track of what was really important to me. Getting through the day with the constant presence of crumbs, reminding again that we aren’t unkind to our brother, doing load after load of laundry often kept me preoccupied to the point of losing my focus. It’s hard to be a mother.  Children are not born perfect.  They have gifts and challenges, and some days, the challenges can seem to overwhelm us.  We lose sight of why we’re doing what we’re doing.

Making the Choice Each Day

Back in those days, there were not the constant distractions to my heart and mind that so many young moms face today.  We didn’t have cell phones – no texts to check, no surfing to do, no Pinterest, Facebook or Instagram to check or post on (eek, I’m old!).  We didn’t have constant 24/7 news cycles demanding our attention or YouTube “how to” videos that we ‘had’ to watch etc, etc… And still, we had choices to make each day to live the day for the loves of our heart and not our own whims or desires and sometimes what we thought we needed.  It is hard to give up your will for the benefit of others.  It’s hard to keep the perspective that the time of raising children is not forever.  It’s hard to go against society and work your rear off for no tangible reward – no paycheck, no promotions or “look who I am” on social media, and sometimes not even a thank you from anyone.

The Gift of Motherhood

Our full reward is in heaven.  Motherhood is a gift from the Divine and to say less is to cheapen it.  When we see raising children from the perspective of a God-given mission, it completely changes the day.

Joys, Sorrows, Sacrifices

I like this watercolor image of the heart with lots of blotches on it.  To me, it represents the joys, sorrows, and sacrifices that motherhood requires.  At times, the sacrifices seem to outweigh the joys.  At times, I felt like 6:30 PM (when my husband usually got home) would never come.  Some days I looked around and thought how much easier everyone else had it.  Other days I thought I needed ‘something more’.  Most evenings I went to bed exhausted only to wake up not quite rested but needing to start the process all over again.

Thoughts from the Other Side

Having made it through the years of raising children (yeah me!!), I can tell you that as I look back on those years….I long for those years!  You know how they say you’ll forget morning sickness, and you do.  Then they tell you you’ll forget the pain of labor and delivery, and you do.  Well, you’ll also forget the day in and day out of the daily struggles.  You’ll look back on those years and remember the good times, the seriously difficult times – grateful that you got through them, and the ways in which you were challenged as a woman to develop virtue, a depth of love you never imagined possible, and a grateful heart that God blessed you with souls to nurture, form, and teach to love.

Let’s take some time to pray about what occupies our hearts.  Do we live our lives in such a way that strangers would know what we love?  Do we let distractions enter our lives and displace what we truly love?  Do we approach raising our children as a God-given mission?  Do we pray for our husbands and children every day?

John 15:12 “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.”

Have a great day!

Janet

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